


Last Chance

by Scynth_Robin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fix it of sorts, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Post 15x19, Reunions, Season finale doesn't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scynth_Robin/pseuds/Scynth_Robin
Summary: That’s the thing. We think we have time, but truly, we’ll never know. We keep expecting that perfect moment, that perfect day to come. But we don’t realize that it is never going to come. We keep living for that tomorrow that we let the chances we have right now slip through our fingers. The worst part is, we don’t know which one of those is going to be our last.But when Jack showed up in the bunker that evening, Dean knew that it was his last chance.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	Last Chance

After Jack became god, he almost walked away. Dean had to force the words out of his throat, at least this time, before it was too late.

_“Ja- Jack wait. Cas. You have to bring back Cas.” Dean managed to choke out, his voice breaking in the end. The world was saved, Chuck was gone and everyone came back, except Cas. In the split second between Dean’s question and Jack’s answer, a thousand possibilities flashed through Dean’s head. What if Jack can’t bring back Cas? What if Cas doesn’t want to see him? What if Cas leaves again?_

_“Go home, Dean. He is waiting for you.” Jack said with his back turned to Dean, with a smile in his voice._

Dean’s heart pounded against his chest frantically as he and Sam slipped into the car and made their way to the bunker. He was breaking at least three traffic rules at once. Speed limit? Who is she? Sam totally sensing his brother losing his mind in desperation, tried to comfort him and calm him down, saying things like _Dean we’re gonna find him Dean he’s gonna be there it’s gonna be alright, _like that was going to make any difference. It took Dean every last ounce of his will to keep him from losing it. Fear, nervousness and excitement all together made him fucking delirious. He had no idea what to expect.

All he knew was Cas was somewhere within his reach and he had to do anything and everything humanely possible to get there. To get his hands on Cas again. To make up for every time his hand had hovered above the angel’s skin but hesitantly dropped because he was a fucking coward. For every lingering touch. For every drawn out stare.

So when they reached the bunker, Dean practically fell out of his car and ran towards the bunker’s entrance. Sam immediately following him, to find his friend to whom he thought he would never get to say goodbye.

Dean stumbled into the bunker, not even stopping to catch his breath.

And then, there he was. His blue eyes wide, trench coat and all, looking disheveled and frightened, looking up at Dean, like he had never gone away. Their eyes locked on each other.

Dean froze. _Cas. It was his Cas._

With a sound that sounded almost like a whimper, Dean broke his trance and raced down the stairs, his eyes trained on Cas, not leaving once. And when he collided with Cas, his arms wide open, it was like two universes collided.

He let the tears stream down his face without hesitation as he engulfed Cas in a fierce hug. Cas made an almost squeal and hugged Dean back just as tight. One had around his shoulder and the other wrapping around his middle.

“Cas. Cas you- you’re back?” Dean stammered, emotions dripping down his voice. Not letting go of Cas.

There was a pause. Then-

“I- uh, yeah. Dean.” Cas answered, his voice thick. Like it was taking him an effort to speak out the words

It felt surreal. To have Cas in his arms, all rough skin and warm and strong. He felt his throat closing up, another sob threatening to break free. But he held onto Cas. Like he was scared that if he let go, Cas will dissolve into mist.

They stayed like that.

“Cas- oh my god! You’re back! Cas!” A breathy voice squeaked. Oh yeah. Sam.

Cas let go to lift his head from where it was buried in Dean’s shoulder to look in the direction of the voice. When he saw who it came from, he parted from Dean and stumbled across the room, where Sam met him halfway and pulled him into another hug. Sam was saying something incoherently along the lines of _Cas you fucking left just like that and what were we supposed to man you idiot it’s so good to have you back man oh my god Cas it’s so good to have you back_ while he was laughing and crying and Cas was saying something back and they were hugging again, and then both of them were laughing.

Dean couldn’t do anything but just stand there, the tears blurring his vision and watch his brother and his best friend embrace each other, unable to blurt out a single word because god knew there weren’t words to articulate what he was feeling.

Sam and Cas finally parted and they turned to Dean. Sam wearing his puppy eyes and sniffling and Cas with tears in his eyes and a hesitant smile playing on his lips. And then Sam decided to yank Dean and Cas again into a group hug with his arms wrapping around both of them. Dean’s hands involuntarily wrapped around his brother and his best friend.

They stayed in the embrace for a few seconds. When Sam finally pulled away, he was grinning ear to ear and looking between Dean and Cas. To Cas, he said-

“Cas, you won’t believe. We won, man. We really won.”

“W- what?”

“Jack defeated Chuck. He absorbed Chuck’s power. He’s god now. Cas, you won’t believe but we actually won. It’s over man. Chuck’s gone. We- we’re free.” Sam exclaimed, almost screaming.

“We won? What- but where’s Jack. What?” Cas blurted, his eyes wide, shaking his head frantically. Trying to take all the information being dumped on him.

“Jack is God now, Cas. Like, The God. It’s unbelievable, right? And yeah, he brought you back. But then, he walked away. He told he’s everywhere. But he was gone. Said he didn’t want to interfere. He said, we can choose our own path now. True free will.” Sam replied, concern in his voice. Filling in the angel. Knowing he was worried about his almost son.

Cas still looked confused as fuck. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. At a loss of words, trying to process everything. It was a lot to take in.

After a few seconds of looking at Dean and Sam back to back frantically, he visibly calmed down. He exhaled forcefully. And then, looked up at Sam.

“I’m glad, Sam. I’m glad we made it.” he said with a smile forming on his face.

Sam and Cas both looked at Dean expectantly. Oh yeah, it was his que to speak.

A few seconds passed in an awkward silence. Both of them staring at Dean. Sam never losing his smile. Cas’ expression turning into something along the lines of nervous and regret.

“Dean I-” Cas started.

“Welcome home, Cas.” Dean cut him off. His first coherent sentence.

“Dean…. Uh, yeah. Dean, um, thank you.” Cas said, unable to look Dean in the eye after what had happened in the last conversation they shared. Which Dean was in no condition to acknowledge.

“Seriously. It’s good to have you back Cas.” Dean replied, trying to put on a smile. He knew he should say something more. The confession hung in the air heavily _. This is not the right time. I need to clear my head._ Dean decided. He knew Cas was worried about it. He knew he had to reassure Cas. Tell him everything. He knew Cas deserved that.

 _He just got here. I just got him back. He will stay now. I will tell him. I just need to clear my head._ Dean convinced himself to yet again ignore the big ass elephant in the room.

So that’s what he did. He tried to ignore Cas’ eyes boring on him. Pleading for an answer.

_I just need time Cas. Please. I’m scared. Just give me some time._

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It has been two days since Cas came back. It took him some time to get settled in the bunker after everything that had happened. But it was all the better because now Cas was full on his power. He looked better than he had looked in ages.

Dean knew it was time. He had to say something. Dean has been avoiding spending any time alone with Cas _. I just need some time. The world’s not ending. He’s gonna be around. I’ll tell him._ He kept telling himself. Years of repressed emotions resurfacing in two days was not easy.

So, when Cas knocked on his room one night, he didn’t know how to handle it.

Cas stood at the doorway, in his usual attire, the tie missing, looking at Dean, waiting for his permission to enter.

“Uh- Come on in Cas.” Dean’s heart picked up speed. Why was Cas here? Was he going to talk about it?

“Dean.” Cas entered the room. His eyes trained on Dean. He stood at the foot of Dean’s bed awkwardly. Looking kinda lost. Was he going to talk about it? Dean was not ready for that conversation.

“Heya Cas. What’s up?” Dean said, trying to keep his voice casual, but absolutely failing. Panic already started rising inside him. He was going to fuck this up.

“Dean, I-” Cas started but then closed his mouth. Like he didn’t know how to put it into words.

Cas inhaled sharply. His eyes everywhere but on Dean. Dean knew he was staring at Cas like an antelope in headlights. Dreading the conversation, already.

“Dean. Before empty took me, what I said-“

“No!” Dean snapped. Cas fucking winced.

Shit. Shit. Shit. He screwed it up. He screwed it up yet again. Shit.

“Dean, just please-“

“ No Cas. N-no. I-uh Cas, no, I mean, just, fuck.” He stammered, feeling like the walls were closing in on him. Dean put his head in hands. He was screwing it up so badly.

There was just silence for the next few seconds. But it felt like longest fucking eternity of Dean’s life. He couldn’t meet Cas’ eyes. He knew what he would see in them.

Cas finally let out a soft breath.

“Okay.” Cas said, his voice almost a whisper. He started backing away.

Dean lifted his head up to find Cas’ eyes. Hurt. He’s once again hurt Cas.

He watched Cas turn his back and leave, once again. Unable to look at him. He didn’t even know what Cas was going to ask him. He panicked and now he has screwed up everything.

_Why do I hurt everyone I love?_

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cas wouldn’t meet Dean’s eyes for the next two days. Dean wanted to apologize, shit he just wanted to say something. But Cas avoided him, every time.

 _I’ll figure it out. I have time. I’ll tell him soon. I just need some time._ He told himself, again and again.

That’s the thing. We think we have time, but truly, we’ll never know. We keep expecting that perfect moment, that perfect day to come. But we don’t realize that it is never going to come. We keep living for that tomorrow that we let the chances we have right now slip through our fingers. The worst part is, we don’t know which one of those is going to be our last.

But when Jack showed up in the bunker that evening, Dean knew that this was his last chance.

Dean had been in his room, trying to take a nap, when he heard Sam shouting his name. He slid out of his bed with a groan and made his way out of his room.

That’s how he found Jack, that kid, still with his awkward greeting, smiling at him and Sam.

“Jack! You’re back?”

“Hi Dean.”

“Wow Jack, where have you-“

He was interrupted by Cas gasping loudly.

“Jack.” Cas said, standing in the door way, his eyes wide in wonder, a smile already tugging at his lips as he made his was across the room to his son who was also walking towards him with his arms open. Cas pulled Jack into a hug. They parted after a few seconds-

“Jack, you’re- uh- you’re God now?” Cas asked, his voice strained.

“It’s nice to see you again Cas. Well, I’m…. just me.” Jack smiled innocently. It was still hard for Dean to believe that their kid was running the universe now.

“Where have you been all this while, Jack?” Sam interrupted.

“There were a lot of things that needed fixing. So many other realities, hell, purgatory, heaven. They all were chaotic. I had to repair some things. The empty, too. I had to put it back to sleep.”

“Wow kid. It’s- It’s amazing.” Dean said, letting an easy smile fall over his face. He was proud.

“I’m proud of you, Jack. Your mother would be very proud of you too.” Cas said, a proud smile on his face.

“Thank you, Cas. Thank you for everything.” Jack replied, smiling fondly at his father. Looking at Jack now, Dean thought, he really did look like Cas. The thought tugged at his heart.

“But there is something I need to do.” Jack continued, looking troubled now. “ I have to close the gates of heaven, hell and purgatory, forever. Humans deserve pure free will with no disturbance from any cosmic entities. This will be the last time I see you guys, at least while you’re alive. I wanted to say goodbye.” Jack smiled.

It was a hard pill to swallow. Jack had been a part of this family. Dean had some regrets, he wished he had done some things differently. But everything aside, he loved the kid.

“ Come here, Jack” Dean said as he walked towards Jack. He folded his arms around him and held on tight.

“I’ll miss you, kid” Dean murmured.

“I’ll miss you too, Dean” Jack said as Dean pulled away.

“Actually, there’s another problem.” Jack said. He turned to Cas.

“Cas. You’re an angel. You can’t be on earth. You need to come to heaven. I have to close the gates of heaven. Completely.” Jack explained.

Dean froze.

_What? What? No. No, this can’t be happening. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._

Blood rushed to his ears. He could hear the thump of his own heart. It was like the universe stopped for a second.

He hadn’t even told Cas yet. He thought he had time. He thought Cas was gonna be around for at least a long time, if not forever. Fuck. Fuck.

Dean’s voice caught up in his throat. A million images flashing through his mind. All the times he was an inch away from telling Cas everything, but had backed away. Because he was a fucking coward.

“I have to leave?”

Cas’ voice brought Dean out of his trance.

“Yeah, Cas. I know you love this place. But you need to come with me Cas. I wish I could do something different, but this is important. Heaven needs you.” Jack said.

“But-“ Cas began.

“Or you have to become human. If you want to stay here Cas, you have to give up your grace. I am sorry, but there’s no other way.” Jack explained, his expression concerned.

“Oh…I uh- I understand.” As Cas said those words he turned his gaze towards Dean. Their eyes locked. And Dean knew it was now or never.

_I’ll tell him. He deserves to know that. He’ll leave. But at least he’ll know. And maybe he’ll stay. Shit. I am a selfish fucking coward. Why would he stay. But he deserves to know. Yes. I’ll tell him._

“Cas! I need to talk to you, alone, for a minute.” Dean’s voice came out odd even to his own ears in the silent room. His eyes locked on Cas’. His stance tense. His voice strained.

_Now or never._

That’s what Dean told himself when he grabbed Cas’ hand and yanked him out of the room with him. He knew all eyes were on him.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

The sound of his own heartbeat was all Dean could hear as he led Cas through the corridor to his own room. He didn’t dare to look at Castiel yet. He entered his room, pulled Cas in and closed the door behind them and turned to look at Cas.

Cas.

Fuck, he was going to do this.

Cas was looking at him with a bewildered expression.

“Dean, what-” Cas started, but Dean cut him off-

“Cas, I need you to listen to me. Please, just listen to me, Cas. Just, listen.” Dean urged. His voice breaking at the end.

Dean couldn’t look Cas in the eye. He started at the ground and tried to steady his voice. He continued,

“Cas, I know I fucked up. After everything you did, everything - you said” Dean stopped to swallow, still not able to look at Cas. “ After everything I did, I know it’s too late. But I need to tell you this. I really need to tell you this.” Tears started to well in Dean’s eyes.

“I made mistakes, Cas. What I did was wrong. You- you’re my best friend but I didn’t stop you when you left. And then again, you said all those things to me and again I couldn’t stop you from leaving. I am sorry I couldn’t say this before. I know I can’t ask you to do this Cas, and I don’t expect you to do this.” A tear escaped his eyes, he didn’t try to stop it. Dean finally looked up at Cas. Cas was staring at him open mouthed, his eyes glassy, his hands trembling.

“I can’t expect you to stay Cas, but I’m gonna ask you. This is me asking you to stay. Please stay. Please.

“I need you. I thought I had time. But I don’t. So I’ll tell you, Cas. I love you. I love you so much it fucking scares me.” As Dean said those words, Cas was already closing the distance between them. Dean stumbled into Cas’ arms as Cas wrapped his hands around Dean fiercely. A broken sob escaped Dean’s throat. Cas was crying too, Dean realized.

At once he started, he couldn’t stop. He buried his face in Cas’ shoulder and cried. Cried as long as he needed to. And Cas held him through all of it. They must have stayed in that embrace for so long. When they parted, Dean did not know what to do. He stood there staring at the ground. Until Cas spoke up.

“Dean. We need to go. Sam and Jack are waiting for us.’ Cas said, his voice almost a whisper. Dean looked up and met Cas’ eyes again. All he could see in his eyes, was love.

“Uh- Yeah. Yeah. We should.”

_Fuck. It was over. Cas is gonna leave now. Fuck._

Cas led the way back. Dean followed.

_This is the last I’ll ever see him._

When Cas and Dean entered the bunker hall, Jack and Sam looked at them with curious eyes.

“Guys, what happened-“ Sam began, but was cut off by Cas.

“I want to stay, Jack. I’ll give up my grace.”

“What?” Sam exclaimed, his mouth hanging open.

Dean’s knees almost gave up. He felt like he was going to pass out.

“Cas, you don’t-”

“It’s my choice, Dean. It’s solely my choice.”

_Fuck. What the actual fuck. Cas. Why would you do this Cas? I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you._

“Cas, are you sure? You’ll be cut off from heaven. You’ll grow old. You’ll become mortal.” Jack said.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Cas’ voice was stern.

“Okay.” Jack said softly as he walked towards Cas with a sad smile. He touched two fingers to his forehead and there, it was over. Cas’ grace escaped his body out of his mouth and dissolved into the air.

Cas looked shaken. He watched his grace dissolve with wide eyes.

And then Jack was hugging Cas. “I’ll miss you, Cas.”

“I’ll miss you too, Jack.” Cas whispered his voice breaking.

After the hug ended. Jack turned to all three of them.

“Thank you. For everything. Goodbye.” He raised his one hand awkwardly. Typical Jack style. And then he disappeared.

Nobody spoke for the next the 30 seconds.

Sam was the first to break the silence.

“Welcome home, Cas.” He said.

His expression proud. He looked between Dean and Cas. And slipped out of the room.

Cas. His Cas. He was right next to him. He didn’t leave after all.

And the next thing Dean knew, he was closing the distance between them and pulling Cas into his arms and crashing their lips together with all the desperation pent up for fucking years. And Cas was kissing him back just as fiercely.

When they broke the kiss they were both panting. Their eyes were glassy.

Cas was grinning. It was like watching the literal sun shine down on him.

“Cas. You gave up your grace. You. You gave up heaven.”

“I don’t regret it.”

And that was enough for Dean.


End file.
